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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an commonly fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is interested or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who forgo having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {